Within the past few days a variety of events with friends and family have happened to get me thinking seriously about the impact we have within one another’s lives. In three different scenarios with people close to me, its become apparent that so many of us are completely oblivious to the idea of legacy or fairness or kindness. It seems that some have become so self-centered and selfish that they either refuse to see their negative impact on others or maybe do see the impact and simply refuse to concern themselves with it.
Clearly my four years (and counting) here in Connecticut have caused me to be a bit more thick skinned, fast thinking and self-important than what the midwest was capable of instilling in me after nearly 40 years. Nonetheless, I haven’t lost any sense of the plain facts that the words we chose, the actions we take and the decisions we make send ripples of effect across our small worlds. We always have the ability to choose between being kind, being neutral and being mean. Not just with others, but even with decisions we make for ourselves and the responsibilities we either take on or ignore. A failure to accept our own personal responsibilities seems to be a plague for our current times. A friend recently told me about a couple he knew that, while married adopted a child, but upon separation, both simply abandoned this young person.
And while no one actually makes the right decisions all the time, or engage in their lives responsibly for all of their lives, past performance should not be an indicator of future performance. Change can happen at any time and this IS your life. Just because you were a bitch to your son for 60+ years doesn’t mean you need to continue that habit to the grave. Just because you were a financial burden on your family for the past 50 years, doesn’t mean that you need to continue that trend and force your poor habits and decisions on your children. Just because you’ve been estranged from your son/daughter/mother/father for 15 years doesn’t mean you can’t pick up the phone; believe me, I know. Further, if you were to look at your life without your handy rose tinted glasses, you just might see an opportunity to actually leave this place and these people in a better and positive way.
This is also a good time to call on the perpetual victims as well. Facebook and Twitter seems clogged with so many martyrs who spend their time talking about all the great things that they are doing for others despite the fact that no one ever does any favors for them. They quietly seek your sympathy, pity and attention while submitting themselves to more self-fulfilling punishment and humiliation. What’s really unfortunate about these folks is that there are too busy attempting to get attention to notice that everyone else is living their lives, dealing with the troubles and heartache that is a part of life and they are spending their life waiting for some perceived redemption and reward for all the terrible ills they’ve suffered. Newsflash: it’s not happening. Find your spine, take care of yourself because no one else will and become independent and not co-dependent. If your spouse, parent or significant other does’t come home today, what is Plan B? Do you have one? Have you tested that plan already? Are you happy with it?
Despite the call for more personal independence, the bottom line is that we are all connected. Decisions you make will effect your immediate family, your circle of friends and the ripple continues from that point out. Please stand up, take responsibility for your mental, physical and financial well-being. Do your best not be a burden on anyone for as long as possible and then go one step further to insure that you are a true blessing to those you know and love, not a curse.